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This article is part of our Opinions section, where we invite industry professionals to share their views on the most pressing technology questions of our time.
As a proud millennial with a varied and non-traditional career path in my early career, I relied on support from mentors who were more senior than me both hierarchically and in age. These mentors presented as friends, managers, aunts, alumni, you name it. I’m sure I reached out for guidance because I assumed age meant wisdom. Now, I was one of the lucky ones that the majority of the advice I received was well-informed, and the role models I turned to were wealthy in expertise and experience.
But in the last few years, when the world has faced unprecedented change, the phrase “in my day” now seems to emphasise the superiority of bygone eras. With schools crying out for support from industry, many working professionals often jump at the opportunity to “help”. Without wanting to sound ungrateful and diminish those who volunteer to provide career guidance and advice, we need to honestly evaluate the credentials of being able to deliver value here.
Unconscious bias plays a huge role in any advice-giving, and we need to review how we describe our experiences to the next generation. Whilst my last opinion piece focused on the role and value placed on language, there is one phrase I hear all too often in what should be mentoring or coaching environments: “in my day”. It’s a phrase we should dig deeper into, in the context of career education and guidance.
The use of the phrase (or ones with similar connotations) often ignores the nuanced complexities of modern life, where rapid technological advancements and shifting cultural norms demand fresh perspectives and adaptability. To understand how the phrase creates obstacles to growth, we must examine how it influences perceptions of job applications, family dynamics, and societal change.
Job applications today are a labyrinthine process compared to the straightforward CV drop-offs and in-person interviews of decades past. For many older generations, it was often enough to have a handshake, a good attitude, and perhaps a recommendation from someone “well connected”.
Applicants now face an increasingly digital and algorithm-driven world where online portals, applicant tracking systems (ATS) and competency-based assessments dominate the hiring process. The hurdles don’t end there: job seekers must craft personalised cover letters, maintain polished social media profiles, and often complete unpaid assessments to even be considered. Not to mention the fact that many incur financial costs throughout the recruitment process.
Older generations might view these changes as unnecessary complications, arguing that their simpler methods were more effective. However, such arguments fail to account for the global competition and hyper-specialisation of today’s job market. The “in my day” mindset minimises the adaptability required to succeed in this environment and dismisses the unique challenges faced by younger workers.
Moreover, the reliance on past experiences can lead to harmful advice, such as emphasising face-to-face networking in industries that now operate predominantly online. This disconnect leaves younger generations feeling misunderstood and unsupported.
Digital literacy, social media proficiency and technical expertise are critical in many modern careers, but mentors or hiring managers who cling to outdated standards may overlook or undervalue those skills.
Working professionals today face unique challenges that were less prevalent in previous generations. Affordable childcare, work-life balance and the mental load of managing both professional and personal responsibilities are ongoing struggles. Yet, those who cling to “in my day” reasoning may downplay these difficulties, offering advice that is not only unhelpful but potentially dismissive.
For instance, young women pushing for promotion are faced with commentary around “it could be a lot to take on, especially if you’re thinking of having a family”. This doesn’t consider a whole host of issues, not least economic necessity and personal ambition driving many women to maintain careers.
Furthermore, technological advancements and the rise of remote work have created new opportunities for flexibility and blurred the boundaries between professional and personal life. Older generations may not fully grasp the demands of a 24/7 connected world, where emails and Slack messages interrupt family dinners and weekends. By romanticising the past, they overlook the mental health toll of such dynamics and fail to advocate for solutions that resonate with today’s realities.
Perhaps the most insidious impact of the “in my day” mentality is its influence on how societal progress is perceived. Over the past 50 years, significant advancements have been made in civil rights, gender equality and LGBTQ+ acceptance. While these changes have brought newfound freedoms and opportunities, they have also triggered a backlash from those who feel alienated by rapid cultural shifts.
The older generation’s tendency to advise based on their experiences often results in judgments that feel out of touch or outright harmful. For instance, telling a young professional to “speak up” in the workplace might not account for the nuanced power dynamics and microaggressions that marginalised groups frequently navigate. Similarly, advice to “just work harder” overlooks systemic barriers such as wage gaps, discrimination and limited access to resources.
Younger individuals often struggle to articulate their challenges to mentors, parents or bosses who dismiss their concerns as whining or entitlement. This dynamic can create a cycle of misunderstanding and resentment, where younger generations feel unsupported, and older generations perceive them as ungrateful. Actual progress requires empathy and a willingness to acknowledge the validity of experiences that differ from one’s own.
Change is a constant, but its pace has accelerated dramatically in recent decades. Technological innovation, global interconnectedness, and cultural shifts demand continuous learning and adaptation. For younger generations, this creates a pressure cooker environment where they must navigate uncharted territory without a reliable roadmap.
The advice of mentors, parents, and older colleagues can be invaluable, but only when it acknowledges the unique challenges of the present rather than defaulting to outdated paradigms.
The world today is far more complex than it was 20 years ago, and success often requires a combination of creativity, resilience and adaptability. While older generations can offer timeless wisdom about values such as perseverance and integrity, they must also recognise the limitations of their perspectives. A mentor’s advice to “stick with one company” and dismiss “lateral moves” might have made sense in an era of pensions and lifelong employment but is less relevant in today’s gig economy and era of career hopping.
To bridge the generational divide, older individuals must embrace humility and curiosity, seeking to understand rather than judge. Younger generations, in turn, can foster dialogue by explaining their experiences with patience and openness. By fostering mutual respect and a willingness to learn from each other, we can overcome the barriers created by “in my day” thinking.
To truly support younger generations and foster progression, we must move beyond the laziness of relying on outdated comparisons. This requires a commitment to understanding the present, embracing change and recognising the value of diverse perspectives. Only by doing so can we ensure that the wisdom of the past informs, rather than hinders, the progress of the future.
